08:19 The canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see. #
08:23 RT @BobDylanSays: Might like to drink whiskey, might like to drink milk, /I'd like milk Bob. #
23:55 RT @newsworldtoday: London Mayor Boris Johnson wins court order to evict anti-war protestors from parliament square. /he's no mayor of mine #
00:16 Holy shit I drank about four glasses of raki. I'm completely shafted.tomorrow is another day Amen father son holy spirit #
00:19 @Lisaansell come on lisa. House prices and rents should never have risen as they did. Politicians are ALL trying to avoid the correction #
00:21 @Lisaansell as they are all up to their middle claas get rich quick even though I'm socialist necks in this greed fest. They must let it go! #
00:30 @rejecter can I do something with your lips and your dodgy NHS specs? Something along the lines of sexual ly inadequate verbal chat up? #
00:32 @EatMyHalo get over it halo babe. I can dissapoint you more.... #
00:38 Look guys I promise you when I get a love life you'll be the first to know. Twitter might not exist then, nor my gonads. #
22:53 But with a lover you can really move really move, you can really dance really dance, really move really move u can really dance really dance #
22:55 Ecuadorian cleaner at work really hates the hot weather. It reminds her of home. Says she came to England for the cool weather. #
22:56 Member of public at work looked at my Waikiki Falls teeshirt from GAP and said "what is that? Wanking Falls?" Made me giggle the daft sod. #
23:03 Who in god's name is @alexa_chung and why aren't mandolin lessons free on the NHS? #
23:15 Half of you cocks know you're cocks. That's the kind of cock I can respect. The rest of you cocks need to wise up. I'm talking to you, cock! #
23:53 My horrible left ear scratchy on off mystery tinnitus is back. I had it about 6 months ago. Please go away, I need to sleep! #
23:55 I may have to do a Van Gogh if this keeps up. #
22:19 @hotforwords welcome to London. Thanks for bringing the weather with you. #
23:34 Do the Pet Shop Boys sell hamsters? Maybe tropical fish? No? Oh well, will have to make do with kittens then. #
23:13 @simonbreak I know, but that line just fitted into the false literature I was professing. iBerks now have to hold their phone like a teacup. #
23:26 Gilligan's pie ey int he potatoe reckoningurgle yurtturky klickynuckle erntor vvishnoobie quarkfish lumberstiltskin ssddaa bbvvccxx hhjjggff #
23:27 I'm on my own island eating soggy Golden Nuggets in a bowl of milk. #
01:08 Http://managementtoday.com is the heart of darkness. Look into their soulless drone Gen Y eyes and weep for they know not what evil they do. #
01:12 @GeneWeen you the man GW don't loosen those strings too much. Just enough to keep you flying high. x #
01:21 @quantick I found the "but you gotta have faith" message grating. Apart from that it was an entertaining film but Clerks 2 = better #dogma #
01:31 When posting a link on twitter that goes to a video please use #video so I know not to click on it. Thanks x #
11:24 not sure about the new flickr photo page. view on black large is a nice option, but removing the slideshow with speed+thumbnails+info=error #
11:35 ok - view slideshow has been moved to a menu in the action button. I don't like seeing the map at the top of the page there #newflickr #
13:00 sad bastards queuing for iphones in London imgur.com/dxJFE.jpg #
13:07 we can only dream that Paul Morley gets spiked at Glastonbury, is filmed masturbating naked in a puddle of mud and then slips into a latrine #
13:51 CONDEMS soft on the causes of financial crisis and hard on its victims. British public = selfish dupes who enslaved themselves to banks. #
13:53 RT @AdrianShort: Diff between an iPhone 4 & a classic Leica: No-one will be using the iPhone in 5 years' time, let alone 50. #
14:06 Watching the tennis honeys like the sleazebag that I am. #
14:09 RT @robdelaney: I just noticed that some people weren't following @alicelowe and I got so angry. /good call #
14:10 That Sharapova is a miserable banshee. I prefer the Romanian girl even though she's going out. #
14:16 I'd like a verbal warning from the umpire. #
14:26 I just fed my spider plant with one of my bogies so that I could tweet about it. #
14:28 Bloody Russians. #
14:30 The shrieking sexchange is winning. #wimbledon #
14:33 Guy on bbc1 just read out Men At Work - Downunder lyrics "6 foot tall and full of muscle" #wimbledon #
20:07 Watching DEN vs JPN to the sound of Zaiko Langa Langa really is the business. #
20:20 RT @hotforwords: And I got my new look! You like it? twitpic.com/1zkvw8 /Oh I should say so, you saucy hotpot! #
20:31 I'm fairly sure John Peel won't be making an appearance on this year's Glastonbury BBC coverage so why does he feature in the trailer? #
22:01 @BelindaMaybe I just realised the glastonbury trailer is a journey through time covering the history of the festival and so I was wrong oops #
23:05 I'll crack yer spine said John Lennon. You and whose army sang Yoko Ono. #
23:10 I've got kitten kaboodle in a stranglehold. Now Garfield, put down the coffee cup. You died and went to cartoon heaven many moons ago. #
23:12 Tennis elbow isn't it warm all of a sudden My tissues need ice treatment Gertrude pulled her pants down. It's still warm. I'll open a window #
23:18 Good old Norman Cook eh? He made some chirpy summer dance hits didn't he? I think they should bring him back and the lovely Zoe Ball. #
23:21 No seriously Mr Lennon, Pam Ayres has written a song for you to sing on your resurrection. It's called "I wish I looked after my O'Keefes." #
23:24 The power of dreams of nightmares and TV people with careers and no fresh ideas. This leads us to our current crop of watchable lobotomies. #
23:27 I haven't drunk oh no no. It's true. All I re ally want is yoo hooo hooo. What am I alive for asked Simon Break today? I wait to find it open #
23:31 Cressida, please come to the front office Your name needs to be changed to Peter Duncan. Cressida, please kiss this mirror firmly and wetly #
23:52 I heard that Vince just stood up, walked to the front of stage, pulled trousers down and laid a cable. #bbcqt #
07:48 Good morning. I've got Take That and Party on the jivebox. Could it be magic yeah! I'm put weetabix in the blender with coffee and grapes x #
07:49 That last tweet was all lies. #
20:08 @BelindaMaybe thanks for replying, I'll definitely check out the youtube when you post it, let me know and congrats to your friends #
20:14 Audrey Tatou is getting all coy on me. Come on gel, you've got to break a few eggs to make an omelette. #
21:00 RT @cyanogen: CM6 targets: Nexus One, Droid, Dream, Magic, Desire, Evo, Slid e :) /bringing Froyo to Dream - respect! #
00:07 @deekdeekster I met the charming woman tonight but forgot about your tweet til now. She cycled from London to Brighton yesterday. #
00:10 @LenaNemo Thanks. That felt like a magic fountain from a pink whale spout, hang on... #
00:16 I never know what anyone means. I'm not clever. I'm a fake with a pointlessly high opinion of my recalcitrant tendencies. #
00:19 My Gorbals Girl went to Ascot on the weekend. I still think she's a super smashing lass. Married lass alas. #
00:3 1 Virtuality, Cold and crouched and weak and trapped, Virtuality, Your binds have taken hold of me. Just because yr free, yr no better than TV #
00:33 Ok real bed now. Drink from the loving cup, all those with easy access ;-) x #
13:45 Talacre Park is where I'm at. #
21:53 "Look at the testicals on that" #channel4 #
21:56 @dfrw I knew it looked wrong :) #
22:04 From shelving earlier: Gok Wan's absurd face invites immediate and comprehensive o bliteration by thermonuclear warhead. #
22:09 Can T-mobile's mobile data get any worse than this? I want third world destruction and mass extinctions if it helps my data connection work. #
23:08 photo of a disused railway look thru to the sunny part. Can you see ghost steamtrain and figure hovering on the right? bit.ly/8YkQIn #
23:10 I swear there are spooky faces all over that photo. It is more haunted than Arthur Fowler. #
23:20 Neil Diamond will come along and make the budget better. Love On The Rocks live from Barcelona's famous fake sandy beach I lay me down & cry #
23:22 Kiss it better Neil. Take a chainsaw to that elephant. I want an umbrella stand made from one of its feet. #
23:25 Sorry bout this weirdness. I'm super tired. Keep searching for a heart of gold....x #
00:13 I just juiced up my twitter blog garlict.blogspot.com using btemplates.com #
09:31 Back in Her Majesty's Crescent #
16:41 Contracts up. Thinking of holding on to my G1 phone and getting a sim only with net from outside t-mobile. Must have good data. Any suggest? #
21:35 My public sector pay is sweet fanny adams for what I do and my experience, knowledge and qualifications. #
21:39 But you know, I just don't want to sell you lot stuff, so I'll stick with it for now. #
21:41 I sipped champagne tonight and ate a pizza. At home now I'm half damaged. Just william said I'm in uniform. I said I'll never join the cubs. #
21:43 Krishnan you porky fucker. Stop chowing the finger food. #
21:48 You've got to admit, this is a pretty cool photo and it makes a great wallpaper for your android phone bit.ly/cxOMNY #
21:51 @Lisaansell Hey Lisa I'Anson, you rock! #
21:56 The slightly sweating asian woman is intriguing me on the tv. More than these silly votes that have no meaning. Christ in hell TV is so shit #
23:31 @Lisaansell I just love all your political rants. I go "yes" and "bloody right" "you tell 'em" when I read them. #
23:34 "Tiddlers in a jam jar" listening to Franklin My Dear, another genius podcast by childwithoutanipod aka me. No longer online. Request a cd. #
23:49 Ooh Icky Thump, I've been on twitter five minutes and I need more followers. I've been alive 39 years and I need more blowjobs but do I beg? #
23:53 And on that tragic note I bid you all goodnight and will let you gasp in OTT grief over some googly eyed papier mache headed northerner. RIP #
01:09 Tonights goodnight message: Late at night the curl the crisp the glass the heat the beat the heart for two seconds is all I need. Just two. #
01:18 Tree tops I can step over. I can look down into the nests. Sleep well little birds. I can stroke the leaves. I won't disturb your dreams. #
01:30 I still think Chinese Democracy was a great name for a futile rock album that was only listened to by seven and a half people. #
01:33 Mumford & Sons should name their next album "The Hungerford Massacre." #
01:36 The pendulum of boob rocking bum shaki ng worlwide interbomb in tall sackcloth wife clingfilm wrap that shakes and vacs in the dark. #
01:39 She moved through the fair. Her feet made no din. Listening to after sun milk a podcast by childwithoutanipod. It fucking rules. #
02:18 What we need are a few more Rich Tea biscuits, TCP cotton wool pads on grazed knees and Donovan records. #
02:18 RT @rejecter: The love Americans feel for the "Toy Story" franchise makes me think it's past their bedtime. #
11:21 @benedictwong mmm I love almond but I haven't tried those M&S ones so I'll check them out. Many Brits loved Toy Story but I was a Babe man. #
14:32 I love David James's sarcastic tone of voice. #worldcup #
16:46 Heath Tree LX3 flic.kr/p/8bNu5H #
20:13 Just saw a poster for a @shitmydadsays book in Finsbury Park WTF? When is the Garlic Toothpaste book coming out? #
21:05 Shortest night in the Northern Hemisphere. Look under the Earth's skirt in dawn's warm light and catch a glimpse of Atlas's wife's knickers. #
21:16 RT @WWarped: I avoid arguments with the Mrs about the loo seat being up or down, by pissing in the bath. #
23:08 graf on the disused railway line between Finsbury Park and Highgate LX3 flic.kr/p/8bZJ5h #
23:25 @eaudesignlondon I didn't make it to Highgate this time as ran into friends coming other way, but I've been in there, it's hellishly spooky! #
23:29 another Kirsty Mitchell special flic.kr/p/8bLeYV #
23:43 @dfrw now there's a midsummer n ight dream. Are you playing Puck? ;-) I love you all very much, from a distance and with multiple caveats x #
00:07 Birdies, bogies, holes and swinging. Golf is filthy. #
00:14 Smother me, mother me. I'm wearing auntie's petticoat. I put on lipstick and my hairy legs are stockinged. Ooh 'eck! How does this look? #
00:16 I put a pack of frozen peas between my knees. The game was to hold it there until the cold I could not bear. Easy peasy icechapped kneesies. #
00:18 The final game I played tonight. To thwack a ball and clench it tight. To tie a ribbon round the mast and wait for victory. Home at last. #
00:20 Those last three tweets sound strange and rude, but I wasn' t eating, just playing with my food. The words I spout are not safe for drinking. #
00:22 Calamity Jane and Lillie Langtry met in a pub and watched the match. At Kalamazoo King Kong did find unkind pilots playing with his mind. #
00:25 I shot your putt. You rounded my bend. I hailed your salad. You dodged my jam. The rent was under. The time was spent. A friendly game of 1% #
00:31 Nicky nacky night night. How dreadfully embarassing. Tell him to shut up Hegley. Gilbert and George got right up my bottom. #
00:34 RT @BelindaMaybe: recorded a poem today: sound like Thora Hird if she was the ch ild of John Hegley and Pam Ayres / I like the sound of that. #
01:04 Pearl's a swinger, she sucks dongs as she sits in her old banger, in the carpark. #
13:10 Every time I write something on twitter I am guiding us all closer and closer to the new Bethlehem. Follow me Carole King. #
13:15 @Lisaansell Oh dear, for a moment I thought you were having a lovely snogging lunchtime, not watching a pop video. #
13:21 @Lisaansell ah now I get it yes, the gay snogathon for the pope. Sounds awesome. I should really drink some coffee. #
16:44 RT @themanwhofell: Rubbish comedian Jeremy Hardy is trying to get on my bus. His Oyster Card doesn't work so he's buying a ticket / chancer #
22:52 finally had to change battery on my ipod 5th gen. Cost £5. I use floola to add and remove music. www.floola.com mp3tag to edit tags #
02:31 Christ on a bike. I talked a lot of shit to a great deal of american male flesh this evening. But you know I kind of meant it. #
02:34 If this is all I cry out with my bearded jaw tonight it is only that the love that loves to love the love that loves to love. #
02:36 Holy fucking cow pie. I am in a mirror gazing into the eyes of a loving creature who knows that my honest eyes offer a raw deal a basic love #
02:41 If after all the closeness and potential intimacy I am left with a void I have to question the outcome for me. Why bother with sociability? #
02:43 Well I Rilly Rilly Rilly thought you were hot tonight despite you absent boring boyfriend who splashes cash over your windscreen. #
02:48 @AndrewWK what does making the most of every day entail exactly? Tweeting sweet nothings as a marketing ploy to the grid of potential $$$s ? #
03:25 @hotforwords what are you waffling on about? who in god's name is Artest? #
08:47 I was tweeting after a full days boozing last night. Not a pretty sight and not advisable. It was not me it was the splosh. #
11:34 Had the pre breakfast of two teas and two croissants. Then back to bed. Now attempting the black coffee and two more croissants. #
21:38 Everything is ok because Ferris Bueller is on Film4 #
23:00 Idiocracy is about to come on film4. A brilliant visionary comedy set in a future America. That is what I reckon anyway ;) #
02:20 Perhaps the night before his wedding was not the best night to introduce him to Holy Mountain and La Cabina. #
08:49 RT @simonbreak: TL;DR nyti.ms/cR9XLz /this one is for all the gadget/net addicts out there. Your brain is being rewired! #
08:54 Your brain is now a property of the Grid. Govt policy is for internet to be in hands of newborn babies. Deliver us into evil. Forever, Amen. #
08:57 Blair says, "look it's obvious that I am Neo, I am the one." "Yes", says Mandy, "It is the beginning of times and it is the end of times." #
09:08 RT @WWarped: Hitler does not like the vuvuzela www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-Ln_rqPpPk #
09:39 @dfrw internet has significantly altered my behaviour in a -ve way. I have addictive compulsion to "keep checking" and "need something new" #
09:43 I work in a library where we offer free internet access. Sometimes I feel like I work in a methadone clinic or a gambling machine arcade. #
09:47 On reflection that last tweet is unfair. But I do think that people are unaware of the power of what they are dabbling with. Smartphones=666 #
10:09 @dfrw there is a tendency towards freshness and newness of knowledge and culture being overvalued. Books, Films & opinions are quickly stale #
10:10 I'm standing on the corner of axmintser and windsor road writing this. Blue sky still fresh breeze morning. #
10:45 @dfrw aye I've noticed that. I need to take my head out of the washing machine more often. #
11:08 Today is the wedding day of a very good friend of mine. The sun is shining the birds are singing the sky is blue. Time for him to say I do. #
13:52 bit.ly/c7DuqH Spotify: Dove – Fallen this original Soma version was always the best - get your E on #
21:10 Well who would have thought I'd be the last man standing? No wife, no kids, no long term live in girlfriend, no "own home", no allotment. #
21:11 La dee da de dum de doo dee doo dee doo, pretty baby. It's party time not a minute we can lose. Be my baby. #
21:15 So I shall sing my song and bang my drum and whip my horse and tickle my fish and ring my bell and widen my girth and loosen my belt BURP! #
21:17 From hippie to yuppie in three easy Sunday paper supplements. #
16:54 Who goes through to the last sixteen if all matches in a group result in nil - nil draws? #worldcup #
22:36 Doc on more4 about the guy behind WeLiveInPublic web project. Internet flashback. #
22:53 More4 actually weliveinpublic is a totally different hing to what I remember and much more interesting. #
23:16 now its the thing I remember. Watching this through a 56k modem wasn't easy. The only bits I saw were really really boring. Weliveinpublic #
09:12 I can't believe what I'm confessing to you. The Wikileaks chats. bit.ly/cZXWBc A great Wired article - a must read. #iraq #cia #fbi #
10:23 I favorited a YouTube video -- Collateral Murder - Wikileaks - Iraq youtu.be/5rXPrfnU3G0?a #
18:46 Dear @mayoroflondon, please could you do something about those blessed vuvuzuelas? #
22:24 @deekdeekster cheers, I kind of got mixed up with the end of Venezuela. Anyway they're still bloody annoying. #
00:51 There are a lot of bricks in that wall. #
13:39 Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Author shar.es/mkyTY #
20:13 I sometimes wish I was German. #worldcup #
11:27 I had a dream I was with Wayne Rooney. He was my pal and we were just chatting in a cafe or pub somewhere. His dream persona was quite nice #
17:41 It's beautiful how the whole world's people have come together and are united by their hatred of those bloody horns! #worldcup #
21:50 Do you sit and think about how to fill those 140 characters? You actually work hard on this shit? Where did it get you? Dis dat de udder. OM #
21:52 Ommm Shantii Titva Tatva Lemon Ganesh Chilli Wallah AAAEEEIIIOOOUUU My testicles are being tickled by Audrey Tatou while I am lotus position #
21:55 Nothing like a hot lemon finger dip at a restaurant. It feels intimate and naughty like strangers on a plane getting hot under the blanket. #
22:00 I used to sit at the foot of an old cedar tree. And young men should know who gaze at the sky, it's for those who are wise. Only those W A W #
22:02 I dream of Jeannie with the light brown hair. She went back to South West Australia. A lovely woman full of light who made dull days bright. #
22:38 My favourite Jimmy Webb record is Watermark by Art Garfunkel. A beautiful record which my mum used to listen to while doing the ironing. #
23:01 Never forget that Whigfield sang There Was a Time, dum de da de dum de da de Saturday Night de de de dum de dum de da Pretty Baby #
23:25 if you ever shied away from a creeping branch that tickled the back of your neck in a gentle breeze. Stop a moment and make friends with it. #
01:16 catch up on all my exciting tweets at garlict.blogspot.com/ this blog is powered by LoudTwitter www.loudtwitter.com/ #
10:04 Dutch court rules that discussing piracy is the same as committing piracy - Boing Boing bit.ly/bT0c3A #
11:22 bit.ly/aU6JAE Spotify playlist: Star Traks K-Tel 1980 - this is the closest I could get here is original discogs bit.ly/9BNqbh #
11:38 open.spotify.com/track/2pugP777iY75 myaoxMlsLf Spotify: New Musik – Living By Numbers - I used to play Lego listening to this classic #
11:40 They don't want your name, they don't want your name, they don't want your name, just your number. #
12:35 @nubz cool I also made a Night Moves playlist bit.ly/d48Ldw we had four K-Tel comps from this era which all melted in a fire :( #
18:40 Charity shop score. Oliver Original Soundtrack Vinyl. CDs Best of Waylon Jennings and Classical Ecstacy: Exploring the tingle factor #
23:51 Islington Folk Club tonight and heard the wonderful Leon Rosselson sing his songs. Songs flowed and captivated with lyrical magic & feeling #
00:00 Now I'm at Crystal Kebab. This is a solid reliable super kebab shop with a comprehensive menu and many kind hardworking staff. The best! #
